As women, we give and give until there is very little left.  It’s just our nature!  We’ll give to the point that we feel tired, depleted, exhausted and perhaps even sad or depressed.

Sound familiar?

If you’re like many of the women I work with, you’re so used to taking care of everyone else that your own well-being is on the back-burner.  You’re craving a mega dose of “me” time and can’t seem to find it anywhere!

Have no fear.  Your self-care shift is here.

 Are you ready to bring more serenity, joy and peace into your life? 

 Is your body tired and weary from tending to everyone else in your life (but yourself)?

 It’s time for some self-care secrets!  Here are my favorite must do “me time” rituals to rejuvenate your body from the inside out.

• Take a Fifteen-Minute “You” Pause.

No matter how busy your life is, you have to take care of yourself.  If you have been around horses and watched them, you will have observed they truly don’t have any set agenda to their day.  They make themselves a priority and ensure they get enough food and rest to maintain their energy for their day.

It’s time for you to do the same!  Drop your agenda to be productive or show up for anyone else and drop into a space of openness.  Tell the people you live with what you’re up to and ask them not to disturb you.  Enjoy this amazing gift to you and watch your body, mind and spirit fill up with a sense of renewal, joy and relaxation.

• Create a Mini Retreat in Your Home.

You don’t have to get on a plane to usher in a massive dose of renewal!  The other day, one of my horses was nosing around the fresh green grass and decided it was time to lay down and enjoy the scent of nature’s bounty.  One moment, she was roaming around and the next, she decided it was time to retreat from her herd and nestled in the delights of the spring grass.

Find a quiet space in the comfort of your own home. If you have essential oils (like lavender), place a few drops directly on the light bulb (yes, turn on the lamp!) pick out some very soothing music, kick your feet up and JUST BE! Or, perhaps give yourself an “at home” spa experience by drawing a bath, filling it with Epsom salts, and lighting some candles for a delicious dose of indulgence.

• Do One Thing That Replenishes Your Soul.

Ready for some indulgence?  The change of season from winter to spring brings the shedding of the wooly winter coat on the horses.  They line up for their deep grooming time so they can get rid of the old and bring in the new.  At the end of their “spa day” they look refreshed, have a beautiful shiny coat and are usually ready for a nap under the afternoon sun.

 It’s time for you to shine.  Make it a priority to do one activity that fills your heart with a deep sense of love for yourself.  Whether it’s taking a walk, indulging in a power nap, listening to music or cuddling with your favorite four-legged companion, add it into your daily planner and make it happen!

• Drop Your “It’s Selfish” Story.

The job of the lead mare is to lead her family to food and water.  However, every once in a while, the younger ones in her herd will decide it’s time to stop, play, and enjoy the moment (even if they are slowing down the other horses).  Their priority is to have fun and to enjoy the freedom of choice. Now that is the epitome of taking life in stride and enjoying the precious moments of complete abandon.

Taking a least a sliver of “you” time every day is a necessity for your emotional, physical and spiritual health.  Yet, we often feel guilty for prioritizing ourselves when we know others need us.  When your tendency to feel guilty about your self-indulgence kicks in, take a deep breath and do it anyway.  When you take a moment to say yes to yourself, you become a woman who is ready to go out and do what it is needed with a new sense of clarity and gusto.  Who doesn’t want that?

When you show up and take care of yourself, everything in your life gets better (and easier)!  So, stop what you’re doing and map out your “you” plan now.  You’ll be so happy you did!  (And once you’ve tried weaving in some “you” time into your life, I’d love to hear from you about how it impacted your life).  If you need some support, feel free to send me a note at Judy@healingthroughhhorses.com

I am frequently asked, “What happens during an Equine Inspired Wellness Retreat?”

 

Take a moment and visualize yourself at a beautiful ranch surrounded by heart-centered women who have come together to blaze a new trail.

The tranquility of the open land, the clear skies come alive with the songs of those who soar above – with open wings of delight.

The horses are nearby, wandering about the pasture waiting to be saddled up for their next ride.  

Women tend to arrive excited, hesitant, guarded, fearful and question, “What have I gotten myself into?” Of course, they know – but their inner gremlins start to chatter and create self-doubt and a bit of internal chaos.

Like you, the women who choose to create time for themselves are in a state of transition, change, inner unrest, curiosity, fear, and a knowing that if they don’t take a good hard look at themselves, their relationships, their choices, their life experiences and continue to settle – they will remain unfulfilled and stuck living a life which does not support their true essence and hinders the direction they would like to take. 

While riding a sweet horse named River – it occurred to me, dude horses (horses that take riders out on trail rides) are not much different than the women who come on retreat with me.  They have their place within their herd, roam about, wait for direction, know their job and ready to do what they are asked to do – most of the time. 

 

You see, dude horses usually ride out nose-to-tail. One horse in front of the other on a defined trail.  The chosen trail can be either an easy ride or one that is a bit more challenging.  The horses are familiar with the path and are surefooted.  If they are allowed to pick their way through the rocks, flora and fauna – they tend to keep their balance and find their way home without much drama.

Then there is a horse that wants to break out of the known and blaze her own trail.

She slowly begins to create her own way, ever so slightly away from the others. At first, her rider may feel uncertain and concerned she’s not following the rules and that she will not be allowed to ride again if she doesn’t follow the others.  Her horse repeats her desire to step out of line. 

Finally, her rider listens and begins to understand the need to allow this to happen or she’s going to have a fight on her hands. She gently gives her horse permission to do what is needed to express her independence.  This insightful woman let’s go of the notion she must follow the herd or she will be left behind or worse – punished. 

Slowly, she relaxes and allows her horse to become her guide. Allowing her hips to open, she relaxes with the cadence of each step. She begins to look up in the direction where she wants to go rather than looking down to make sure she is safe.  She begins to trust herself, and her surefooted steed and settles into her ride.  I am certain the horse is very thankful she is trusted and honored.  Just as we are, when we are allowed to go where we know we need to go!

 

So, how is a dude horse like a woman on a journey of self -discovery?  Think about it. 

You want to move forward, you think about it and then YOU DO IT!  Looking around, you find your footing … taking one step at a time until you find your way. You commit to a new path that supports your desire to break out of the ordinary and literally blaze a new trail. 

Yes, you may walk into a few shrubs, get pricked by branches and find yourself off balance.  It’s then you realize, if you shift your weight and re-center yourself, you’re back on track. You become aware that you’re being supported and guided by a wise horse who has discovered what it means to be determined and to do it her way. 

Together, you learn that life’s a dance.  Sometimes you lead and sometimes you follow.

 

To discover more how horses can help you blaze a new trail, please visit our retreat page. 

As the saying goes, until we meet again…

Have you ever watched a young child take their first step? They slowly get themselves together, rise up on their chubby legs, sway around to get their balance – and very gracefully fall on their behind.

The little one tries again and again.

She hears a sweet voice encouraging her to take her first step. She looks up and is now able to focus on what is in front of her rather than looking at her soft white shoes.

She allows herself to smile, lets out a belly laugh, and off she goes…

I was recently reminded of this, as I needed to learn how to take my next step forward.  

As you know, life can throw you a curve ball when you least expect it. You’re going along feeling confident, focused, in the flow – and then suddenly your world changes forever.

Let me share with you what helped me find peace in a most challenging time in my life. Perhaps, you’ll find this helpful if you are ever faced with a life-changing event that requires you to slow down and look inward.

How To Take The Next Step Forward

• Allow yourself to go to the deepest part of your soul and feel your pain. The gut wrenching pain that only you can feel, taste, and smell.
• Allow yourself to weep, really weep, and let it out.
• Allow yourself to get messy!  I mean really messy!
• Allow yourself to just be – nothing more.
• Allow yourself to tend to your own needs.
• Allow yourself to do the best you can – even though you believe it’s not.
• Allow yourself to go the dark places that scare you.
• Allow yourself to grieve for what was and what will never be a part of your life again.
• Allow yourself to be vulnerable.
• Allow yourself to let your armor down and begin to share your emotions with trusted friends.
• Allow yourself to eat lots of junk and not feel guilty, (even though you may get a stomach ache).
• Allow yourself the time needed to regain your balance and seek out those who can assist you in your own healing.
• Allow yourself to be cared for, to receive and ingest the light deep within.

• Allow yourself time to rest … lots of time to rest.
• Allow yourself time to get use to your “new normal”.
• Allow yourself permission that you don’t need to have a plan or an answer.
• Allow yourself to sit back and celebrate a life well lived.
• Allow yourself to daydream, to think big and never stop yourself from doing what you want to do – without feeling guilty.
• Allow yourself to embrace life with all of your heart.
• Allow yourself to love fully.
• Allow yourself to soften, to be fully present with yourself and others.
• Allow yourself to create sacred space for ceremony.
• Allow yourself time. Time to say “I love you” and drink in what that truly means.
• Allow yourself to sway like a young child until you regain your balance.
• Allow yourself to be courageous and take the next step into your new way of being.

If you’re struggling to create the life you desire, regain clarity and enjoy more peace, I have something I’d like to give you.

Allow me to give you my Complimentary Discovery Call. It’s 45-minutes, on me, to talk about whatever will help you to successfully face and overcome challenging obstacles in your life, so that you can move forward with empowering grace and ease.

CLICK HERE NOW to schedule a time that is best for you – and let me share more about what I’ve discovered working with The Healing Herd of Horses and hundreds of women, just like YOU. It’s life-changing!

My mother and I have always had a difficult relationship. Though hard to accept, the truth we continue to ignore is that we do not understand each other. Instead of addressing what was wrong and trying to overcome our differences, over the years we chose to continue to view the world as if we were living on different planets.

Our old drag out, ugly arguments over nothing were known to grow into days of tension and despair.

Time and time again in our relationship, we avoided the elephant in the room.

By the time I had grown, I wasn’t certain I would ever return to my New England home, high on a majestic bluff, overlooking the ocean. The discord and sadness it brought to my soul were just too much.

So, it’s not surprising that our old patterns would once again emerge during a recent visit.

Reclaim What You Can

The difficult relationship between me and my mother had never been resolved. Over the years, we had both allowed our anger, pain, and sadness to rob us of the precious time we might have shared.

Now, I was back home helping my 88-year-old mother pack up all the many treasures she and my dad had collected over the years.

The home she and my dad created more than 65 years ago is being passed onto a new family.

A life well lived in this beautiful old house was soon to be a thing of the past. Years of memories that included family celebrations, marriages, raising children, and watching her only grandchild run outside and play with glee would soon be all that was left to her.

It was time to reclaim whatever I could; whatever was left of our wounded relationship.

Make Peace with Your Past

There’s no better time for deciding to let healing begin than the present moment you are in because time is so short and never guaranteed us.

The first thing I had to confront was my desire to run away from the pain.

Instead of letting all of the years of struggle between us dictate how I would act (or react) toward my mother during our time together – I had to decide to truly be in the moment.

I knew that for any healing to take place, I had to separate this moment from what had been and make peace with my past.

I needed to acquire a different perspective, and be willing to see this moment in time through my mother’s eyes…not just my own.

For healing to begin, I needed to understand what she was:

• Thinking
• Feeling
• Experiencing

And so, we talked…

• About the past
• About hopes and dreams
• About what the relationship was
• About what the relationship could be
• About “where do we go from here?”

Through conversation, I was able to see how difficult it is for my mother to accept the changes being forced upon her. To accept help from others. To accept that her heart is being ripped out at the prospect of leaving her beloved sanctuary.

We were opening communication channels that had been too long closed. We were making ourselves available to one another in a new way.

Move through the Healing

The ability to accept that a relationship is difficult is so important for successfully overcoming anger, guilt, and any other emotional burdens you may be carrying.

Being able to communicate your feelings and being willing to listen to how the other person feels is a great place to start. But it’s also important to move through the process no matter how uncomfortable things might get.

• Don’t permit yourself an escape route just because the road gets too bumpy.
• Don’t hide from the truth. Instead, tighten your seatbelt and face it head-on.
• Don’t become stuck in that rut that you know will never change, spinning your wheels and getting nowhere.
• Don’t focus on the past. Let go of it and choose where you want to go from here.

Move Forward in Healing

Maybe you realize, as I have, that it’s time to move forward.

If you’re dealing with a difficult relationship, consider what time it is.

• It’s time to accept who you are.
• It’s time to be okay with what is not.
• It’s time to let go of unworthy expectations.
• It’s time to overcome lingering disappointment.

I’m grateful to have had this time to grieve time lost with my mother. I’ve moved through the process to a place where I choose to celebrate what we have, love her without expectations, and honor one another as the women we are in this moment of our lives.

Where Will You Go From Here?

Are you ready for a new perspective that gives you the freedom to overcome your past and reclaim your life?

If you’d like to break through the emotional barriers preventing you from living a fulfilled life, it’s time for you to experience an Equine Inspired Retreat.

Since 2003, I’ve created retreats for heart-centered women, just like YOU, that offer women the total freedom to explore WHO they really are as they allow The Healing Herd to guide them.

Ready to live your life as the woman you were meant to be – free from guilt – in the beauty of your personal brilliance –  empowered and moving ahead in grace and ease?

Grab your Complimentary Discovery Session TODAY – and let’s get started!